Are you a negaholic?

Let’s talk hypothetical. Say you are going for a job interview. Now, this interview is very important to you as it could potentially be what your career needs. Night before the interview, do you toss and turn because you just know that you are going to screw things up? Or are you feeling upbeat because you know you are going to ace the interview and make the best of it?

Now, obviously the preferred answer is the latter but unfortunately, many of us are more inclined to answer the former. Why? Blame it on a case of negaholism, where one is ‘addicted’ to all things negative instead of positive.

Do you always think the bad is more likely than the good? Do you dwell on things that didn’t work out for you? Always thinking of your failures instead of your successes? Afraid to take risks because you are certain that you will make a mistake (like always)? Find fault at everything you do? Is there a voice – loud and clear – in your head that tells you to forget it, you won’t be able to do what you want?

Answered yes to most of the above? Why, hello there, negaholic. Simply put, negaholics are people who always think the worst of themselves as well as of situations. Everything is bleak with a chance of negativity, where nothing will go their way. Talk about viewing life as a half-empty glass! But that is precisely the case with the negaholic. Even when things are going well, they tend to wonder what will go wrong next!

So why are some people more prone to being negaholics? Perhaps it has something to do with being disappointed most of their lives but negaholics are often a victim of their own circumstances. Instead of asserting control and positivity in their lives, negaholics are more likely to believe that the world is truly against them and that there is nothing that they can do to change the situation around. Also, with society’s pressure – especially in Asia – on being the best/top/richest/prettiest, negaholics create for themselves this impossible sense of perfection that is unattainable, causing them to go on a downward spiral as they put too much pressure on themselves on trying to achieve what they think others want them to.

Yes, negaholics are their own worst critics, and boy can they criticise themselves. For instance, telling themselves that they do not deserve any happiness. Or psyching themselves that everyone is out to get them. Whatever it is, negaholics suffer from a self-esteem so bad that they can’t seem to see the positive light of anything at all. Now, imagine carrying this dark cloud around you every day – there is no wonder why the world looks so pessimistic and gloom for the negaholic!

The thing about this negative attitude is that it shows. A negaholic walks around as if he or she has a huge burden on his or her shoulder. Not only that, being entrusted with a task is like a curse as the negaholic will complain and worry to no end that they will never get the task completed as expected. A negaholic moans, complains and whines about everything (who wouldn’t, when things don’t go their way all the time!). With that attitude in place, it goes without saying that negaholics aren’t exactly the most popular bunch, whether at work or in a circle of friends.


SNAP OUT OF THE NEGATIVE!
It is clear that being a negaholic isn’t the desirable thing to do. But changing years of negativity can take some time, especially when it is second nature to doubt yourself as well as have negative connotations for everything!

But it doesn’t mean that it is impossible to snap out of your negative attitude. Yes, you may slide back into being a negaholic once in a while but don’t beat yourself over it. The most important thing is to keep looking at the positive side of things and to keep trying.

Here are some ways you can bust the negaholic out of you.

1) Be nice to yourself
Perhaps the most important thing you can do for yourself to break out of your negative attitude. Treating yourself nice – whether it is acknowledging your own good work or doing something you enjoy – is the first step to appreciate the positive values in your live. Practise positive affirmation. Tell yourself that you deserve things and that you are worth it. Start your day off with a positive affirmation to set your day on a good note.

2) Move from the past and into the moment
Oftentimes, thinking about the past or the future is what gets us anxious about the present. We panic because we overanalyse things and dwell too much on something that has already happened or assume will happen. Stop doing that. Remind yourself that the only thing you have control over is the present, and really that is the only thing that counts. Avoid seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances. Get out there and do something to get what you want in life instead of sitting and waiting for things to happen (they won’t).

3) Believe in the law of attraction
You’ve probably heard of this but we will say it again – if you think positively, positive things will happen. If you think negatively, well then negative things will take place. The law of attractive is really simple to grasp – your being is exactly what you think of it to be. It may be a tall order for a negaholic to comprehend but start changing your thinking to a positive frame of mind. The good things will really follow through.

4) Stop listening to that criticising little voice
Don’t listen to that inner voice that keeps telling you that you are no good. Pay attention to your self-talk; it is what forms your frame of mind. Try to mute it, especially when you are feeling anxious about something. Imagine beating it and telling it to keep quiet. Eventually, you can shut out that voice of doubt and focus instead on the situation and how to get things done.

5) Don’t overreact
One bad event does not mean a lifetime of bad events. So when something doesn’t go your way, don’t overreact and think that it is how your life is going to turn out to be for the rest of it. Look beyond the one incident and move on. Avoid making a drama out of your life. So you didn’t get that promotion you wanted. Just try harder the next time instead of beating yourself over and over again. Easier to do, right?

6) Do things that you enjoy
Take time off, smell the roses, indulge yourself. You don’t have to be perfect all the time. Stop using words like ‘must’ as this will only create unnecessary pressure. Instead, spend some time doing things you enjoy to truly appreciate what you have.