It’s the annual musical jamboree and display of post-modern irony and tastelessness that is Eurovision, which this year is probably providing the backing track to the break up of the Euro. But who cares; get your Eurovision party evening pumping with our Euro-themed grub.
Abba - Waterloo
Agnetha, Björn, Benny and Anni-Frid's performance is the yardstick by which all other Eurovision acts are judged. Honour their efforts with a huge batch of meatballs. If you leave out the gravy and and let your friends dive in with cocktail sticks and napkins, it saves on washing up.
Celine Dion’s 80s power ballad
We reckon the Canadian tonsil warbler would love Harry Eastwood’s madeleines, they’re tasty and yet only 87 calories. Make these and ensure your 'heart will go on'.
Oh Lordi!
The Finnish monsters of rock and 2006 winners Lordi surely love the taste of raw flesh, so what better than Valentine Warner’s! No, not the man himself but his tatar recipe – Rock!
Bucks Fizz
Bucks Fizz have made their minds up, and so have we. We reckon Cheryl and the gang would love Marcus Wareing’s bacon roly-polies. You could even wash ‘em down with a glass of Buck’s fizz, add a splash of fresh orange juice to any fizzy wine.
Get behind the Hump!
This year the UK have put our trust in Engelbert Humperdinck. Will he triumph and cover us in glory once more? Probably not. You can show your support and get your Eurovision party pack here. Anyway what many people don’t know is that the Hump was born in Madras, India, and is Anglo-Indian. So in honour of his heritage (and because they’re really delicious) we recommend these tasty Spicy paneer and spinach bites.
Azerbaijani proverbs about food
This year's contest is being held in Azerbaijan, who have many saying relating to food. But perhaps this one is most apt for the Hump “When you're young, carry stones. When you're old, eat pilaf.” So how about Diana Henry’s orange and pistachio pilaf recipe.
The best and the worst
But enough about food, what about the music? We caught up with Eurovision expert and former Beeb man Paul Condon who kindly provided his all time selection of tunes - some truly awful, some 'so bad they're good', and some just plain good.
Eurovision’s first transsexual contestant – and winner!
Verka Seduchka – Dancing Lasha Tumbai
Once heard, never forgotten. He looks like a fat Su Pollard from Hi-De-Hi wrapped in bacofoil. “DANZEN!”
Alexander Rybak – Fairytale
Swept the board in 2009 with the most number of ‘Douze Points’ in Eurovision history
I Love Belarus – Anastasia Vinikova
A moving tribute to freedom, from the only remaining dictatorship in Europe? Nah, it’s a camp old load of nonsense trying to prove that they’re not under the jackboots of an evil regime.
Dustin the Turkey – Irelande Douze Points
A puppet operated by the people behind Zig and Zag, singing about why Ireland should get 12 points from all the other countries. Catastrophically awful.
Jedward – Lipstick
God help us, but they’re back again this year. This was last year’s effort.
Loreen – Euphoria
Here’s my prediction of what will win this year. And I’m putting a fiver on it, too!
Ruslana – Wild Dances
Regularly tops Eurovision fan polls for their favourite winner of recent years
Lena – Satellite
“Luff, oh luff…” Hilarious mockney accent from German teen pop act on top of an irritatingly catchy song. Won two years ago.
Are you planning a Eurovision party? Do you think Loreen is this year's dead cert? Or is the whole thing a load of nonsense? Talk to us in the Comments box below.
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