The Most Irritating Habits of Indian men
Indian men can at best be described as... shucks, I can’t seem to find a word to describe us.
I doubt tolerable would be the way to go, but in the context of this article it is quite interesting to explore the things we do that others might find irritable. Whether it’s dating, at home or the office, there are some common things we as men do that bind us together. Sadly, this is a list of all those things that make people want to shove us in a cement mixer and send it crashing down a hill. Here’s the ultimate compilation of the most annoying habits of Indian men.
We’re cheap
No matter where we are placed in life, how successful we are or how much we weigh, Indian men can’t help but be cheap. But there are different levels to this. All of us have known that one guy in our friend circle who forgets his wallet, looks the other way when the bill arrives, for whom every day of the month, is the last day of the month. Why are we still friends with him?
Indian men will dig their noses, and how!
It doesn’t matter where they are. If an Indian man gets whiff of any treasure in his nostrils he will go for it. He won’t care for the fact that he might be at church or is making bhelpuri at the corner of a street. The vigour and dedication with which he cleans his nose out warrants an interview and a picture in the newspaper the next day. Some sources even say that this resin is used to plug punctures in tubeless tires. We will never know, thankfully.
Love to letch
If our eyeballs could detach themselves and go take a walk, they’d never come back. The average Indian man has a roving eye that is more active than the Hubble telescope. I don’t know what it is about women, but we lose our minds. Indian men are not even afraid about being confronted. They will give a woman so much attention, it could almost hurt.
And a relationship status is not much of a deterrent either. We will look at a woman like she’s on a sale that is going out of fashion. And just so there is no confusion, there will be a confirmation about which body part is being stared at.
To burp or not to burp
We love food and we aren’t afraid to show some appreciation for it. The only trouble is that we forget to cover our mouths while we do it. After a hearty meal, we will clear our lungs and resonate the flavour of every ingredient that went into its preparation. Some of us are even talented enough to be able to burp and speak at the same time. Score!
Gone with the wind
Since we are describing the audio abilities of the Indian man let’s not forget the ever melodic sound of music that flows freely through his behind. Indian men love to fart. Some even consider it a sport and will compete with other men. In some remote villages today, the leader of a clan is often the one who can fart the loudest. While there is nothing wrong with this normal bodily function, when combined with the concept of bad timing, the effects can be cruel. You could do it for your own amusement in the confines of your home, but in a crowded train? Really?
Gargle Monsters
There has been no proven reason for an Indian man to resort to such an act, but after a hearty meal, he will take a giant sip from a glass of water, gargle vigorously like it is mouthwash and then swallow that very water. This by far has to be the most disgusting of all habits. Who in the right frame of mind revels in washing down lunch with a diluted concoction of bacteria and germs from their oral orifices?
Combine the last three habits into one man and you’ve got yourself a disaster worse than ‘Housefull 2’.
Bad network?
Most Indian men are clueless about telephone etiquette. They feel that every time they are on the phone, it is vital that every person around them is in the know of what they are saying. Nobody gives a damn about your super awesome social life. So keep the volume down. The network is fine, you aren’t.
Groin love
When the Indian man is not busy doing all of the above, he puts his hands to good use and carries out a timely groin inspection, in full view of the public. What are you doing? Checking if it’s still there? It’s not luggage, you know. Even the most sophisticated of men if not openly will use his pockets to carry out necessary adjustments. Of course sensitive equipment must be handled with care, but show that sort of love in private.
Indian men will no doubt continue to inspire with their unique antics and the list will grow with time. Till then, the best advice to those aiming to improve their social standing is “Please do try this only at home”.
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